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Get tae buck!

I see that despite having rung up sales in the UK of more than £3billion since opening their first store here in 1998, Starbucks have paid just £8.2 million in tax during that time.

They are now a target of UK Uncut, the pressure group protesting and challenging companies who they see as dodging their tax responsibilities.

Good.

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Trunkated Taxes

This is the latest offering from Brian and Phil @anelephantcant – exclusive to the BLFP and very good it is too

Tax

AnElephantCant fiddle his taxes
He is honest as his trunk is long
He doesn’t earn much
A few peanuts and such
But he knows tax evasion is wrong

He understands we all must contribute
To fund things like the National Health
To cure flu and rabies
Deliver healthy babies
Is worth a fraction of everyone’s wealth

Now most folk pay out of their wages
Small companies must follow the rules
We pay old age pensions
Keep crooks in detention
Put out fires and send children to school

But the problem lies with our most successful
Big companies who make money in stacks
Out of our top seven hundred
One third can’t be scunnered
Our biggest businesses pay no UK tax

The elite fly around in their choppers
They call Monaco or Switzerland home
They don’t care for the old
Or if children are cold
Their cash gets channelled tax-free to their gnomes

One quarter of all wealth on this earth
Is held off-shore in numbered accounts
No interest in famine
The rich keep on scamming
Our money to make their world go round

When our Davie has got a wee problem
The money keeps slipping away
He deals his best card
It isn’t too hard
A retailer knows just how to play

AnElephantCant provide a solution
To the iniquity inflicted by these
But here’s a wee thought
Why not tax the whole lot
On the cash their wives ship overseas?

Taxmen Want Blood!

Polish taxmen are offering Poles the chance to pay their tax bills in blood.

Every donation to the local blood banks will allow Poles to write £30 off their tax bill.

Donors have to get a certificate from the hospital for every litre donated that can then be sent to the taxman and written off against their final tax demand.

Regular donor Dariusz Gryka, from the north-eastern town of Bialystok, said: “I learnt about it from an accountant friend and started to give blood last year.

“I have only done it three times, but already it has been worth it.”