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Alien Concept

Simon Parkes is an ordinary kind of guy. He’ a driving instructor and a Labour councillor in Whitby, Yorkshire.

He probably does most of the things that a normal self employed councillor would do……

For instance, he says has sex with an alien, who he refers to as the Cat Queen, around four times a year. He also  claims to have fathered an extra terrestrial lovechild called Zarka and says having sex with the alien has caused tension in his marriage.

Councillor Parkes, 53, claims his “real mother” is a 9ft green alien with eight, stick-like fingers who appeared to him in his cot when he was six months old.

The Mirror has a report about the story here

And just before you dismiss the whole thing entirely, have a look at this article from this morning’s Herald.

*Cue the theme from the Outer Limits*

What a Cult!

This is Australian former IT specialist Alan Miller and his partner Mary Luck.

jaysus

Or, if you believe their own version of the truth, they are in fact Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene.

FireShot Screen Capture #070 - 'Man claims to Be Jesus Christ The Messiah living in Australia - YouTube' - www_youtube_com_watch_v=TVw0eFmnQtM

They lead a cult known as Divine Truth. It appears though that the search for that can be elusive at times:

FireShot Screen Capture #069 - 'Problem loading page' - www_divinetruth_com

Mr Miller, a former Jehova’s witness preacher, was apparently banned from the church after an incident involving a prostitute. He has convinced followers that the original disciples have reconvened after 2,000 years in Queensland.

He ‘remembers’ performing miracles and being crucified.

His followers have left their families to join the cult.

He has a ‘compound’

What could possibly be sinister or could go wrong here?

I’m sure Miller reminds me of someone….

koresh

Alan Miller

alanmiller

David Koresh

 

 

 

 

The Nutter on the Train

Mrs Rab and my older daughter are on their way back from Manchester where they attended a Muse concert at the Etihad Stadium last night. Muse are, I am informed,a popular beat combo.

Anyhoo I just got a text to say that they were sat adjacent to ‘the nutter’ on the train but that fortunately he (the nutter) had got off at Preston.

I only had to cast my mind back to Friday night when, having completed the Newark to Edinburgh leg of my train journey, I boarded the Helensburgh train at Waverley. As I settled into my seat I was aware of a ruddy complexioned round face smiling at me from the opposite aisle about three rows down.

“Awsafuckinsaletginafertyswackolly” was what I think he said, but having spent two seconds attempting to decipher it I thought it best that I avoid eye contact with him for the duration of the journey.

“Awsafuckinsaletginafertyswackolly” he said again, this time a bit louder and adding ‘big man’ on to the end.

As the train pulled out of Waverley, there was a loud fssssssstt sound and an expression of frustration and annoyance from the nutter. “Fuxxxake!” he said as some precious White Ace Cider from his 1.5 litre green plastic bottle fizzed over and on to the plastic wrapping around……a plant from Marks and Spencer; presumably a peace offering for Mrs Nutter.

The Nutter proceeded to drink the whole bottle between Waverley and Drumgelloch, a suburb of Airdrie, probably the location for chez Nutter.

“Awsafuckinsaletginafertyswackolly” he said in his valedictory announcement before disembarkation.

I assume that there is a Marks and Spencer plant now decorating a window in Drumgelloch. Either that or there’s a broken window where the Marks and Spencer plant flew through it……….

More details on the Preston train nutter tomorrow.

I’m off down south again in the morning.

Thank goodness I’m going by plane this time.