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Oh Danny Boy!

Danny Alaxander, quoted on the BBC. From the Lady Thatcher school of political humour:

 

“The Liberal Democrat MP for the Highlands said: “There is actually one Scottish myth I absolutely cannot and would not be able to disprove.

“She’s about 40-foot long, publicity-shy and she lives in my constituency, and if anyone here today or any of your families wants to come up to Loch Ness and spend a weekend looking out for her they will be very welcome indeed.

“In short, there is more evidence for the Loch Ness monster than there is for many of the calculations and the claims that have been put forward by the nationalists to support their case for separation.”

What a funny chap he is.

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Quote of the day

Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander on the threat to the UK’s triple A credit rating (from The Herald):

However, Danny Alexander, Chief Secretary to the Treasury, brushed aside the warning, saying he did not regard credit rating agencies “as the be-all and end-all of this”.

He explained: “What matters is the judgment the markets and the people who buy our debt to support our deficit make about the credibility of this country. The test I apply is not what some external organisation is going to say about the UK, but whether we have got the right measures to ensure we continue to have that credibility.”

The people who buy our debt to support our deficit?

Credibility?

We’re doomed.

alexpee

It’s not just the French who adore Le Piat D’or

Separated at Birth

In case you missed Have I Got News for You

Beaker

Danny Alexander

The Trough

Yes the way in which public figures misappropriate funds for their own ends and then apologise is much in the news once again.

Lundie’s Fastnet Gain

Firstly there was cabinet member David Laws, a millionaire, renting a room in his boyfriend’s flat for £900 per month. He saw nothing wrong with that as although they lived under the same roof and were presumably podgering each other on a regular basis, they weren’t really partners because they had separate social lives and bank accounts. Well lets face it how could they have had a joint bank account? In that case the £900 would have been going straight to Laws and not to James Lundie.

Danny Boy

Then there’s his replacement Danny Alexander. The bold Danny flipped his main residence and sold it thus avoiding a slice of capital gains tax. Not only that his wife, Rebecca Whore Hoar enjoyed 62 return trips from the Highlands to London at over £400 a pop courtesy of the taxpayer.

Gutter Press?

Then there’s Fergie. It really was no surprise that she turned up on Oprah to try to redeem herself. I wonder if there can be a more stupid, selfish and self pitying figure in public life.

Her excuse for asking a News of the World journo for £500k for access to her ex hubby Prince Andrew?

“I was drunk – I was in the gutter”

Anonymous Luck

I was reminded of a true story told by a friend of mine (we’ll call him Tam) who was attending Alcoholics Anonymous. The group were asked to one by one explain at what point they had reached the gutter.

Each one told his tale. Tam’s turn came and he said

“At one time I had owned several pubs and hotels. We had a beautiful home with matching limousine cars in the driveway. One day I woke up in a stupour. I only had one pub, the house, one car and my wife was in the hall with her bags packed ready to leave. That was when I realised I was in the gutter……….”

There was a slight pause and then a voice piped up from the other side of the room. “Tam – that’s the gutter I’ve been looking for all my life!”