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Wendy Truth Is Told

The Wendy Alexander saga has now entered the sympathy phase following her resignation. Of course much of it is of the patronising variety such as that expressed in Tory activist Ian Dale’s Diary
. Perhaps one of the most amusing aspects of this sympathy though is the idea that the rules on MP’s and MSP’s declaring donations are just a bit too confusing and it’s easy therefore for the poor old simple politician to be bamboozled by their complexity. Excuse me while I laugh out loud for a moment.

………………….. *laughs heartily*…………………..

Ah! that’s better. I have news for Mr. Dale. Complexity, rules, laws, legislation, regulation and red tape are politicians stock in trade! There is nothing they like better than to unnecessarily complicate the simplest of activities. This could be anything from a farmer moving a goat to a different field (45 pages of instructions contained in the Sheep And Goats (Wales) Order 2006) to a business trying to cope with the number of tax forms they have to fill in annually (the current average in the UK is 279) or arranging to accompany your child on a school trip.
A small business owner at work
A small business owner sorts out her paperwork for the day.

The average amount of pieces of legislation passed into statute in the UK each year numbers nearly 4,000. The height of this paper mountain is that of a typical double decker bus. I own a small business and have long since delegated the financial paperwork of my business fully to my accountant. It is really the only way to keep on the right side of the law. It costs me over £3,000 per year but it is worth it to keep on the right side of the myriad of rules and regs. Last year I had an Inland Revenue and a VAT bill to pay on the same day. The combined total of these bills was into five figures. I arranged to pay them by BACS but unfortunately had not realised that instead of taking three days to process, they would take four because of a bank holiday. Thus for the first time in 23 years in business my VAT payment was late (albeit by ONE day). They slapped a notice on me and said that if I was late again with a payment within the next 18 months this would lead to a financial penalty. I appealed pointing out that this was the first time I had been late in nearly quarter of a century. I felt that I conducted my affairs with them in an almost exemplary fashion and that whilst it was my error to not take account of a bank holiday I felt it was perhaps a little unfair to be penalised. The reply came and I’m sure you will forgive me for paraphrasing it slightly but it was along the lines of Dear Sir, Go and take a good running fuck to yourself.

Anyway getting back to wee Wendy. She is a university educated, bright and intelligent person. She has a staff at her disposal, paid for by the tax payer whose duty is to make sure all the i’s are dotted and t’s crossed. The rules and regulations she was subject to were no worse or more complicated than those inflicted on the rest of us. Those rules and regulations were voted through by politicians just like her.

Sure let us simplify rules and regulations as Ian Dale suggests. However lets do it for everyone and not just the political class.


Standards Committee Gets Tough!

Poor wee Wendy Alexander, suspended from parliament for ONE DAY for failing to declare ten payments to her from donors. Wendy should be grateful the committee didn’t get really tough. They could have sent her to bed early with no tea.

Why oh Why?

So many things have struck me as odd in the past day or so. Firstly yesterday I was listening to some graffiti “artists” complaining about the distance they had to travel to spray paint legally. Apparently there are walls in Dundee especially for the purpose! This isn’t for Banksy type murals or anything. This is for “Tongs ya bass” or its modern day equivalent. Then today there was talk in the UK parliament about IVF treatment and how it shouldn’t discriminate against lesbians. There was me thinking they had a head start in the “we haven’t managed to conceive in the normal way” stakes too. Then tonight on the radio I heard Wendy saying the SNP was a laughing stock. Hasn’t she resigned yet?
It’s a funny old world right enough.

What A Difference a Day Made

I’m trying to keep tabs on this. Wendy now says she was at the bluff by calling for a referendum (Wendy dear we all know that! it’s just that politicians don’t admit these tactics). So lets just summarise here:

1) The SNP want a referendum but not until 2010 (as proposed in their manifesto)

2) Labour don’t want a referendum

3) Hang on yes they do! In fact they want it so much they want it as soon as possible

4) Hold that result! No they don’t ! When Wendy said “bring it on – hold a referendum” in the parliament, on serious political programmes, on tv and radio and in press interviews, she was by her own admission, “bluffing”

5) See 2)

I reckon Eck has got Boris Johnson to thank here. Following Labour’s pispoor election results in England last week, I think Wendy has realised that in 2010 there will almost certainly be a Tory government in the UK. Whilst the SNP would lose a referendum at the moment, what about as a popular governing party versus the Tories in two years?

14th May Wen D-Day

It has just occurred to me why Wendy has not yet been resigned. It is because the perfect date will be next Wednesday (14th May) when half of Scotland prepares to cheer on Rangers as the other half become honorary St Petersburgers. They may delay it till the 15th amidst the hoo-ha of the aftermath of the game.

Anyone care to bet against me being right? Thought not!

PG note: Please do not expose young children to the butch, spanner chewing Anabelle Goldie in this video. Do women still wear brogues?

Bring It On! (Wendya Think We Should Have a Referendum?)

Wendy Alexander                                       A Muppet

I just listened to Wendy Alexander saying on the radio that the SNP should immediately bring forward plans for a referendum on Scottish independence (“bring it on!” were her exact words). That’s right this is Wendy Alexander, leader of Scottish Labour we’re talking about. Now lets examine this strategy. The SNP has just celebrated one year in power in Scotland (albeit as a minority administration). They are enjoying a honeymoon period and their approval ratings are sky high with Labour in free fall in the polls. In England the latest test of public opinion on Labour was last week when they were laid prostrate and roundly rogered by the Tories and are now in third place behind the Liberal Democrats. Also, didn’t the three unionist parties just set up the “constitutional kerfuffle” and take an anti referendum stance?

I welcome the news on the Labour party’s new found enthusiasm for referendums. Ideally before the independence one we could have the Euro one and maybe get back to only one legislative body churning out laws in Scotland instead of three.

Seriously though at this moment I would be undecided about independence but if my hand was forced in a referendum, I’d vote yes. Anything which gets rid of a whole tier of politicians has to be given serious consideration. The machinery is all in place for independence and at each step Labour have assured us, to quote George Robertson that “this will leave the nationalists dead in the water”. Well that hasn’t happened yet. Wendy had better hope that in this monumental gamble there ain’t too many folk like me around if the SNP call her bluff.

“She said WHAT?”

The Alexander Technique – All That Glitters.


Hardworking family wummin shows off the fruits of her Labour

“The Scottish Nationalists are penalising hard working families” – Wendy Alexander at the Scottish Labour Conference this week.

Ah yes Wendy, “hard working families” was perhaps the most over used phrase of the2005 UK election campaign especially by you and your Labour colleagues. What does it mean? well actually it means precisely hee-haw and is what is known as a glittering generality i.e. a vague term with positive connotations. This should be right up Wendy’s street because politicians in general and Labour politicians in particular are prone to using this sort of pish all the time.


The SNP leadership show their level of concern over Wendy Alexander’s performance at the Scottish Labour Conference

Here is a cut out and keep guide to glittering generality.

  • “Use attractive, but vague words that make speeches and other communications sound good, but in practice say nothing in particular.
  • “Use linguistic patterns such as alliteration, metaphor and reversals that turn your words into poetry that flows and rhymes in hypnotic patterns.
  • “Use words that appeal to values*, which often themselves are related to triggering of powerful emotions.

“A common element of glittering generalities are intangible nouns that embody ideals, such as dignity, freedom, fame, integrity, justice, love and respect.” (*and in Wendy’s case, excuse me while I stifle a guffaw, socialism!)

Wendy Alexander is the High Priestess of Glittering Generality. She is I believe presiding over the demise of the Labour Party in Scotland.