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Building Bridges

Click here and go to 16 minutes to see Kevin Bridges on Jonathan Ross last night.

“That’s what happens in Scotland. We wake up, we deep fry something, put on our kilt, spend all day hating the English, we inject some heroin and then we die”

On the referendum

“We’ll have our own six prong Scottish plug”

“I’d like to see a four year return clause in case we make an arse of it”

He’s got a boat on Loch Lomond too.

Very funny and natural comedian…..

My Lovely Horse

Trending on Twitter is #MyLovelyHorseforEurovision2014

What a Relief!

As readers will know, I hardly watch any telly.

I don’t much care for the mainstream TV ouput. I particularly detest reality TV, charithons, celebrity twaddle, awards ceremonies and most sitcoms.

Reading this article from the Independent which starts with a photo of Russell Brand and very quickly mentions Ricky Gervais, made me doubly glad that I didn’t catch any of Friday’s unfunny, trite, tired national conscience salving day on screen.

When I rule the country, Brand, Gervais et all will languish in jail and the no doubt worthy beneficiaries of Red Nose Day/Comic Relief will be funded through the taxation system.

Saturday Laugh – Bridges and Buses

A classic wee routine from Kevin Bridges.

I was a DJ in Drumchapel.

It was mental!

Laughter

Yes the function suite at Strathclyde Homes Stadium was rockin’ (geddit?) with it last night. Compère Charlie Ross along with stand up comics David Connor, Chris Conroy and Tommy Reid were excellent/hilarious but a wee special mention goes to Stu Who? who was headlining and therefore had to deal with the audience at its drunkest.

Stu last night.

To keep 300 or so inebriated folks’ attention isn’t easy, but to make them laugh and keep them laughing via some great stand up routines interlaced with social comment here and there and then get an ovation, takes extraordinary talent.

Stu hasn’t been suffering the best of health in recent times but you wouldn’t know it from his performance last night.

It was a great night and good to see a lot of old friends there.

Magners Comedy Festival

Phil Differ and Patrick Rolink

My friend Patrick Rolink has been in touch to say about his show with Phil Differ at the Tron Theatre Glasgow, tomorrow (Thursday 24th) and this Friday night entitled Patter Merchant City.

On Thursday 24 March, Phil Differ and Patrick will be joined by politician, author, broadcaster, Celebrity Big Brother contestant and former MP for Glasgow George Galloway and Scottish film and television actor and director David Hayman, best known for his role as DCS Mike Walker in ITV drama Trial and Retribution and stand up comic and broadcaster, Des McLean.

Appearing on Friday 25 March will be Scottish actress Libby McArthur, best known for her appearances in River City and Taggart, George Galloway and SAHB drummer Ted McKenna

They are late shows, starting at 10pm and admission is a mere £10. I think both nights sound great and if all goes according to plan I might get along to the Thursday show. Click Here to book tickets.

The Tam Tam Club

They first met back in Glengrotty in the days when men were mean and wimmen were weary.
They were destined for grotty things.
And so it proved to be.
Years later, they decided to rip off old classic pop tunes by adding their own peurile, Glenrothian lyrics and the rest is hysterical.
Aye, that’s right – it’s just Tam and Tam pissing about.

The usual warning to put down any food items and hot drinks before listening. Choking hazard!

What if God was wan o us?

Bald, fifty and fat

(Thanks Stu)

 

Off the Boyle

The topic of the week in the Herald and Sunday Herald has been offensive comedy.

Fist of all Doug Stanhopewrote in the Herald that the person who should have been called to account over Frankie Boyle’s routine about downs syndrome kids last year, was ‘the woman who complained’.

He goes on to say that:

People such as Mrs Smith like to wear their hardships like a crown of thorns. They define themselves by their misfortunes because they can get sympathy from them….. I was a victim of this or a survivor of that. They use their trials and tribulations in place of unique personality traits. Sympathy is just another form of attention and everybody loves attention – so if you can’t get on Pop Idol, get cancer. And never go out in public without wearing the ribbon on your chest

So it wasn’t Frankie who was offensive after all, it was the hapless sad pathetic mother of a Downs Syndrome kid who goes around wallowing in self pity just looking for an opportunity to be offended. Then she can satisfy her attention seeking ego via the sympathy she receives?

Doug Stanhope I fear is wasted as a stand up comic. He can apparently psychoanalyse/stereotype people whom he has never met, at a distance of several thousand miles.

He continues:

Then another comedian – Mark Watson – became involved by suggesting on his blog that perhaps Mr Boyle did cross a line by picking on someone weaker than himself. He referred to Boyle as “rich, successful and physically healthy” to which Mr Boyle responded by calling Watson a “sellout”* and a “c***”.

The blog that Doug Stanhope refers to, by Mark Watson, is here.

Sharon Smith’s concise reply to Doug Stanhope’s article in yesterday’s Sunday Herald is here

* You can read more of Frankie’s thoughts in his weekly column for the Sun.

Mocking the Weak Again

Great piece in Chortle by Dave Cohen about the Frankie Boyle/Channel 4/Harvey issue.

How to Tell a Joke