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  • Hit Me!

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Humped

Gerry Dorsey

AnElephantCant knock Engelbert Humperdinck
Because our mum was a bit of a fan
We don’t think he can sing
But that is not the main thing
Mum found him a handsome and quite charming man

He is going to win EuroVision
The Song Contest that nobody watches
If you tune in you find
You go out of your mind
And your ears become covered in blotches

We are not planning to be overcritical
We will not list this old crooner’s faults
But we strongly exhort
That he keeps his song short
Not like the dreary interminable mind-numbingly tedious repetitive boring Last Waltz

He made his fortune performing in Vegas
Reducing blue rinses to tears
He owes his great fame
To his quite silly name
And no hit song in the last 40 years

He has entertained old dearies for decades
So this Elephant does not want to be beastly
But old Hump should retire
In a chair by the fire
And burn the dreary interminable mind-numbingly tedious repetitive boring Release Me

Now we have been told that our rhyme is unfriendly
And that we must attach an addendum
Engie sings marvellous songs
He rights the world’s wrongs
We apologise sincerely to AnElephant’s Mum

Stunning

It was on the way home yesterday from the Sons stunning 4-1 victory against Airdrie United* that a friend highlighted the fact that after seven games this season Dumbarton languished at the foot of the second division with only two (edit) seven points.

Even in early new year it still looked bleak for the club in terms of retaining their second division status.

We wondered if any other club had ever recovered from such a position to be promoted?

*If you check the footage at 1hr 45mins and about 20 secs you’ll see what supporting a wee team is all about.