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A face like a back end of a bus

I was stuck behind a bus on the way to work the other morning and I couldn’t help but notice a larger than life photo of Carol Smillie exploiting the vain hopes of poor people encouraging folk to make huge profits for a multi million pound private business try their luck at a genuine chance to make themselves millionaires.

A closer examination of the ad reveals a handle sprouting from La Smillie’s heid and the legend “Emergency Exit” emblazoned across her teeth.

Surely not deliberate?

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There was a Crooked Man

Now I know that you’re probably thinking this is about Rupert Murdoch, Craig Whyte or Bill Miller but no, it is the old nursery rhyme:

There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse.
And they all lived together in a little crooked house.

The origin of this poem originates from the English Stuart history of King Charles 1. The crooked man is reputed to be the Scottish General Sir Alexander Leslie. The General signed a Covenant securing religious and political freedom for Scotland. The ‘crooked stile’ referred to in “There was a crooked man” being the border between England and Scotland. ‘They all lived together in a little crooked house’ refers to the fact that the English and Scots had at last come to an agreement. The words reflect the times when there was great animosity between the English and the Scots. The word crooked is pronounced as ‘crookED’ the emphasis being placed upon the ‘ED’ in the word. This was common in olde England and many references can be found in this type of pronunciation in the works of William Shakespeare.

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Fry up or Fry down?