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Call of the Wilde

It was in his latter days at Rangers that Barry Ferguson demonstrated his love of literature by having an Oscar Wide quote tattooed on his arm to wit; “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future”.

My friend Iain, known round these parts as Glade Rover has been in touch to suggest another Wilde quote (as he sipped champagne on his deathbed) to sum up things down Govan way:

“Alas, I am dying beyond my means.”

 

Alexander the Second?

Ah it doesn’t take long for the news to overtake the humble blogger.

It seems that Eric Joyce has been charged with assault and released on police bail.

This was after Joyce was earlier suspended from the Labour Party pending the outcome.

Johann Lamont it is who’s in charge of Scottish Labour MPs and MSPs and here is Johann shortly after she made the decision to suspend the hon. member.

Johann Lamont

Apologies, there seems to be some sort of error here. A picture of Labour Chief Whip Rosie Winterton has appeared instead of Johann Lamont.

For the avoidance of doubt it is Ms Lamont who has responsibility for all Scottish MPs and MSPs and not Ms Wintterton or Mr Milipede.

Just who is the most odious man in Scotland?

I’m thinking a man associated with a once proud, but now bankrupt Scottish institution with an extremely uncertain future. A man who has had no shame in accumulating wealth in a web of complicated financial dealing at others expense and who cannot seem to be contacted by anyone.

Police are currently studying events and prosecutors wait with bated breath.

Yes I’m talking about Eric Joyce.

"You're claimed ya bashtart"

He was the first MP to accumulate £1 million in expenses.

When his expenses claim of £200,000 in 2010 raised eyebrows, he hit back claiming that middle class voters were hypocrites, branding them liars, racists, drunkards and even paedophiles.

The Falkirk MP previously spent the night in a police cell a couple of years ago having been caught driving over the drink driving limit and was subsequently banned from driving.

On Wednesday night he apparently administered some old fashioned Scots rough and tumble (A Glesca kiss and Falkirk fist) to Conservative Stuart Andrew in the Strangers Bar at the House of Commons.

Thankfully Mr Andrew, described in reports as the “Pudsey MP” doesn’t seem too badly injured.

Craig Whyte takes the train

(Boo to the Business World)

Frankly Funny

Frank Carson was one of those old school comedians who told jokes. There wasn’t much if any observational comment or socially aware material in his act. He just told gags – and he was brilliant at it.

I heard some clips of him on the radio this morning. Sid Little reminisced about he and Eddie Large, Norman Collier and Jim Davidson doing shows together. Carson would have been the only one of that lot I’d have paid money to see and hear.

Tam Cowan recalled having him on his TV show and how Frank kept the assembled company entertained for about two hours after the show, as he played a game of people throwing a word at him and telling a joke on that subject.

“My wife went into the butchers shop and said “Is that a sheep’s head in the window?” The butcher said “No it’s a mirror!”

I went to the doctors he said I have good news and bad news. “The good news is that you only have 24 hours to live!” “Oh my! what’s the bad news?” “I should have told you yesterday!”

Then I found these on the net:

“I don’t think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.”

“So I rang up British Telecom, I said ‘I want to report a nuisance caller’, he said ‘Not you again’.”

“Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once and he drank it!”

Frank Carson 1926-2012

Flying Wean!

Last summer, photographer Rachel Hulin thought it would be fun to make her baby fly. So she looked to her son Henry to see what he could do. As she told Time, “I wanted the flights to feel genuine. These are places we are really in everyday, it’s not a cut-and-paste job on random interiors and landscapes.”

If you’re worried about Henry’s safety, you’ll be relieved to find out that he’s not in any real danger. “I never throw him, and I never move him into a place in the frame that he wasn’t in to begin with,” Hulin said. “I like Henry to fly the way he feels like it, I never pose him in a specific way. Sometimes he’s graceful and sometimes he’s a little hunchback. I think telling you more would ruin it.”

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Rachel Hulin’s website is here

New York Lonliness

Rockin’

Indeed.

Six wins and a draw in the last seven games.

A hard fought win against East Fife last night left the second division league table looking like this:

And just for fun, here is the current form table showing the last six results:

 

The Loan Rangers

Aye so Craigy Whyte came out of the lift yesterday and owned up to the funny smell surrounding him.

He did indeed use a mortgage taken out on three years future season ticket sales to fund Rangers debt being cancelled at Lloyds Banking Group.

Quite how on earth he thought he was going to keep this a secret, heaven knows.

Anyway, amidst all this brouhaha, everyone from football chairmen to leading politicians and public figures have been coming out of the woodwork. If I may paraphrase their remarks they are along the lines of “Rangers must survive for the good of the Scottish game/TV money/Celtic/Scotland standing in Europe etc. etc.”

Well I wonder.

What is it we are trying to preserve here? The financial good of Scottish football?

Hmmmm.

Isn’t nearly every club at every level in Scotland in debt?

How is the TV money dished out? Don’t Rantic and Celgers get most of it anyway?

How long will it be, if Rangers are saved as an institution important to the fabric and culture of Scottish society, before they and their partners in crime start making noises about leaving the SPL again?

Imagine the Scottish game without these crakens.

OK, so there would be no Sky money. However there would be an SPL where at the start of any given season, there would be a genuine competition for the championship, with perhaps half the league teams in with a genuine chance of winning? What effect would this have on attendances at those clubs?

As it is, the presence of  the Old Firm has strangled competition in the game for over a quarter of a century. It turns out that one half of this cosy arrangement has won the league during that time by reckless borrowing and fraud, even though they had vastly bigger resources than the competition anyway.

The proposal recently was for the top league to return to ten teams just to suit the Sky TV deal (i.e. maintain the four times annual Punch and Judy show).

In reality most supporters want a bigger league.

The McLeish report last year conveniently ignored  the biggest problem in Scottish football and that is lack of genuine competition.

I don’t see how saving Rangers is going to address this problem at all.

Rangers administrators and HMRC should be left to conclude a deal on their own, factoring in any interest from investors.

There should be no special treatment or government interference in this process.

The Old Firm

You can’t live with them and you can’t survive without them?

I’m not sure you know.

Whiff of honesty?

Fletcher Reede owns up……

 

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