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Cliches. Avoid them at all costs. Doh!

AnElephantCant always avoid clichés
The artist has mentioned this a million times
He gets sick as a parrot
All stick and no carrot
But the rhymer sometimes needs one for a rhyme

We know the doodler has oodles of talent
He takes to drawing like a duck takes to water
Your scribe’s in the dog house
As poor as a church mouse
With prospects like a lamb to the slaughter

This pachyderm grows old and confuseder
Is there some animal who never forgets?
Does every dog have his day?
Where there’s a will there’s a way?
Over the hill or just hedging his bets?

Why is the horse such a source of sad clichés?
About water but not about drink
Get on when he’s high
Close the door wave goodbye
And a nod is as good as a wink

Perhaps the writer just isn’t the brightest
He can’t find his way even to Rome
His goose is well cooked
He has leapt but not looked
The lights are on but there’s nobody home

Let’s put an end to this shaggy dog story
Let’s pretend the fat lady has sung
This dodo is dead
Let’s put it to bed
And wish the cat had got more than his tongue

The rhymer knows that his work is quite hackneyed
Does he lack skill or just have a bad attitude?
But time is the thief
He’s sick to his back teeth
So he signs off with a new duck-billed platitude


“Can my client pay at a pound a week Your Honour?”

I see that Rangers have been fined £50,000 for failing to declare to the Stock Exchange that Craig Whyte is a money grabbing wee arsehole who can’t tell the truth was once disqualified from serving as a director of any company.

In other news, there was an attempt yesterday to take the breeks off a heilanman.

Harmonica Madness Revisited

Nearly four years ago I made what I thought was a throwaway post featuring a Youtube video of a harmonica band. Since then there have been several comments from guys who starred in the Morton Fraser Harmonica Gang in the 1960s, and their relatives and friends.

Having attended several NHL conventions I know what a weird and quite wonderful collection of people this humble instrument attracts.

The latest comment, from John Jackson only serves to emphasise that I just didn’t know what would happen when I made that original post. The comments section reads like a soap opera! It has revived old memories and reunited old friends.

That one short post makes the whole endeavour of blogging not just worthwhile but an absolute joy.

I’m sure I have posted this clip before but it is great, and well worth a repeat on so many levels. This is the Morton Fraser Gang on the Edmundo Ros show in the infancy of TV.

Aussie Floyd

Saw them tonight at the Clyde Auditorium in Glasgow.

Photos via my wee Nokia phone.

This is the second time I have seen them.

Close your eyes and it’s Floyd.

Don’t close your eyes ‘cos you’ll miss the laser light show which comes at you without mercy during the entire show. It is…..to use an over used word……AWESOME.

They played a superb set culminating with their encore, the superb “Run Like Hell”

This one though never fails to get me.

Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
And build them a home, a little place of their own.
The Fletcher Memorial
Home for Incurable Tyrants and Kings.

And they can appear to themselves every day
On closed circuit T.V.
To make sure they’re still real.
It’s the only connection they feel.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Reagan and Haig,
Mr. Begin and friend, Mrs. Thatcher, and Paisly,
“Hello Maggie!”
Mr. Brezhnev and party.
“Scusi dov’è il bar?”
The ghost of McCarthy,
The memories of Nixon.
“Who’s the bald chap?”
And now, adding colour, a group of anonymous latin-
American meat packing glitterati.

Did they expect us to treat them with any respect?
They can polish their medals and sharpen their
Smiles, and amuse themselves playing games for awhile.
Boom boom, bang bang, lie down you’re dead.

Safe in the permanent gaze of a cold glass eye
With their favorite toys
They’ll be good girls and boys
In the Fletcher Memorial Home for colonial
Wasters of life and limb.

Is everyone in?
Are you having a nice time?
Now the final solution can be applied.

Lets put the fun back into football!

(Thanks Kevin)