• November 2011
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Who Knows?

What drove Wales football manager, former successful club and international footballer and family man, Gary Speed to hang himself?

What kind of despair or unhappiness could drive a seemingly successful and happy guy to this ultimate self-harm?

In the 1980s I recall being the voice of the Dumbarton FC telephone news line (lots of clubs had them in pre internet days). DFC (and former Hibs and Scotland) defender Erich Schaedler took his own life, necessitating the cancellation of that week’s game and an announcement to that effect.

As club general manager Alex Wright and I discussed how to break the news, he looked at me and said “Why? – Ah mean nothing is that bad is it?”

Clearly something was indeed “that bad” for Gary Speed.

A tragedy and all our thoughts are with his family at this time.


And continuing on the theme of Scottish toilet humour…..

Proper noun……or adjective?

I’m guessing proper noun because surely no-one would be so scrupulously honest with an Ebay listing if the adjective did apply to the item!

There are of course two spellings of the word and I remember posting previously about one chap who probably goes through life completely untroubled by his name.

This is because he doesn’t live in west central Scotland.

Those who are perhaps at a loss to understand, should discreetly click here.

H teu O

It’s a fairly known fact that the adult human body is typically 60% made out of water.

Hence comes the common sense that if you happen to become dehydrated, you have to drink water to get well. It’s an instinctual event, this is why our body developed the essential mechanism of thirst.

NHS health guidelines state clearly that drinking water helps avoid dehydration, and that people should drink at least 2.2 litres per day (half a gallon). The European Food Standards Authority* EFSA acknowledges that “water contributes to the maintenance of normal physical and cognitive functions” and “water contributes to the maintenance of normal thermoregulation (body temperature)”

All fair, well and logical so far eh? No need to dwell on this at all really. Water is essential for our well being and prevents us becoming dehydrated.



Nothing to see here – move along……..

But wait, here is the European Food Standards Authority* and they’re taking another look.

They’ve just completed a three year study and found that water does not prevent dehydration, and as such bottled water manufactures should not advertise any statements on labels or during campaigns that claims it does.

So just to recap, the European Food Standards Authority has spent three years deliberating on whether water prevents dehydration.

They’ve found that it doesn’t.

And if you say it does you risk two years in prison.

Good that the normal work of the EU, wasting thousands of euros on completely useless nonsense safeguarding the public, can continue while the continent’s economy collapses.

Thanks to ZME Science

Elephants in Space

AnElephantCant stay earthbound for ever
He has dreams of one day travelling through space
Just like an astronaut
Whether he can go fast or not
The thought leaves a smile on this elephant’s face

There is an expedition to land on the Red Planet
AnElephant isn’t sure if he’d go so far or not
But he’ll give it a try
He will fly through the sky
With the prospect of becoming a Marsonaut
He has ambitions of being a spaceman
He wants to cruise down the great Milky Way
Chocolate bar in his pocket
To munch in his rocket
Because a Mars helps you work rest and play
He’ll see millions of things of great interest
Like black holes and meteor storms
He’ll spot Jedi and Klingons
Bypass-building Vogons
And he might even meet Major Tom
He’ll go out and claim planets for Scotland
With a giant Lion Rampant as plain as
The nose on his face
He’ll explore outer space
And plant it on Saturn or Uranus
But his Sputnik must be totally reliable
Because on Jupiter you can’t jump a train
You can’t find a taxi
To go south of the galaxy
And it’s a long cold walk home in the rain
On his return he will have lots of stories
Where he has been and what he has seen then
A couple of lite beers
To pass the light years
With his friends the Marsvellous wee green men

Ptarmigan Ridge

I spotted this cracking photo at ‘Explore Loch Lomond’s’ Facebook Page

It was taken by Mark Wilson from Ptarmigan Ridge, Ben Lomond.

Why Women Can’t Sleep

Have you ever wondered how a woman’s brain works? Well, it’s finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration (Click on the picture):

Every one of those little balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

A man has only 2 balls. They consume all his thoughts, and he sleeps like a baby.

Thanks John O’Hare for elucidating.