• May 2011
    M T W T F S S
    « Apr   Jun »
  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 285 other followers

  • Archives

  • Categories

  • Recent Posts

  • Reviewers’ Comments

    "Great read every day. Makes me smile as Rab muses about music and his irreverent views on the EU. Tune in, you won't be disappointed."

    "Excellent 'Blog' which can be controversial at times, while maintaining it's humour. Keep it up Big Rab!"

    "Updated every day with doses of good humour, political satire, a running commentary on the progress of author's home football team and his life."

    "Pure brilliant, so it is - I never miss it, though God knows, I've tried."

    "An inspiration to start my own blog"

    "For dipping into it's better than pakora sauce"

    "Anyone who doesn't like the EU and has a soft spot for Albion Rovers can't be all bad"

    "Facile and False"

    "Populist,puerile and prosaic"

    "Utter pish! Keep it up, I love it!"

    "People may also find the Ben Lomond Free Press blog illuminating, interesting and/or amusing. It’s not mentalist as such but familiar themes emerge. I particularly like accounts of encounters with strange elementals (of course! ELEmentals!) from elfin safety. And the fact that the blog is run by someone who plays in a blues band called Harmonica Lewinsky."

  • Hit Me!

    • 1,321,723 hits since January 2008
  • Top Rated

  • Advertisements

Just Another Day in Retail

It is really one of those jobs (running a pet shop I’m talking about)

Long before Michael Palin and John Cleese’s conversation about the Norwegian Blue, there have been jokes surrounding pet emporiums for generations.

For example:

“Can I have a wasp please”
“We don’t sell wasps”
“There was one in your window yesterday”

“I’ll pay you the same for that budgie as I paid for my Christmas Turkey”
“OK – you’re on. How much did you pay?”
“12/6 a pound – weigh it!”

I’ve written before about some of the weird and wonderful real life requests we get.

Yesterday, my assistant Chris took a telephone call

Caller – I wonder if you can help me? When I use my bong my goldfish starts talking to me
Chris – What does it say?
Caller – Lots of stuff. It predicts the results of the football and racing!
Chris – It would seem like a good idea to get down to the bookies.
Caller – Seriously, the fish talks. How much do you think it could be worth?
Chris – I think you’d have to sell the bong and the fish as a package.

And so on. Chris still isn’t sure if the call was a wind up because at the coal face of retailing furry and feathered animals, anything is possible. Some of the questions are brilliant.

“Why is that fish black?”
“Do you think my dog would like these biscuits?”
“My hamster died – is that normal?”
“I’m keeping a house spider as a pet. What would I feed it on?”
“How much are your turtletoises?”
“Are Netherland Dwarf Rabbits smaller than ordinary rabbits?
“What is the difference between the two tier and three tier hamster cages?”
“Is that a ghost snake because it’s invisible?”
“Do you have a brush for my pussy?”

It’s all in a day’s work for purveyors of poop scoops.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: