• April 2011
    M T W T F S S
    « Mar   May »
  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 285 other followers

  • Archives

  • Categories

  • Recent Posts

  • Reviewers’ Comments

    "Great read every day. Makes me smile as Rab muses about music and his irreverent views on the EU. Tune in, you won't be disappointed."

    "Excellent 'Blog' which can be controversial at times, while maintaining it's humour. Keep it up Big Rab!"

    "Updated every day with doses of good humour, political satire, a running commentary on the progress of author's home football team and his life."

    "Pure brilliant, so it is - I never miss it, though God knows, I've tried."

    "An inspiration to start my own blog"

    "For dipping into it's better than pakora sauce"

    "Anyone who doesn't like the EU and has a soft spot for Albion Rovers can't be all bad"

    "Facile and False"

    "Populist,puerile and prosaic"

    "Utter pish! Keep it up, I love it!"

    "People may also find the Ben Lomond Free Press blog illuminating, interesting and/or amusing. It’s not mentalist as such but familiar themes emerge. I particularly like accounts of encounters with strange elementals (of course! ELEmentals!) from elfin safety. And the fact that the blog is run by someone who plays in a blues band called Harmonica Lewinsky."

  • Hit Me!

    • 1,363,559 hits since January 2008
  • Top Rated

  • Advertisements

Gas Guzzler

I have bought CARS for less than this!



Learn to work the saxophone, I’ll play just what I feel. Drink Scotch whisky all night long, and die behind the wheel.


(With apologies to AnElephantCant)

I sat listening to the radio last morn
My reaction was pure disbelief
For interview on the London train
They’d picked four young women from Crieff.

At first they seemed like a fun bunch
Young lassies enjoying the journey
It was only when I heard the stuff they were saying,
I thought that they just maybe wurnae.

“Everybody’s excited!” they shrilled
“The whole country’s just going nuts!
A right jolly day of waving the flag
Will take everyone’s minds off the cuts”

“Describe your hat for me will you?”
And the lassie right then admitted
That the straw boater had Wullie and Kate on the brim
And not only that they were knitted!

It was then that I started to wonder
If Crieff was the home of the fool
Here was a young lass of 20 or so
Wearing Royalty made out of wool!

Her companions seemed equally ‘loosely wrapped’
They were having the time of their lives
But was this just poor consolation
For themselves not becoming Royal wives?

I’m avoiding the whole of the media today
I’m staying away from the grief
But I’ll spare a thought in my isolation
For these curious young women from Crieff.

The Great Escape

The Great Escape

AnElephantCant believe what has happened
It is greater than The Great Escape
500 walk out
It appears without doubt
There’s a break in the Afghan red tape

Now the prisoners did nothing outrageous
They just waited for help to arrive
Their chums tunnelled through
Said how do you do
Put their shoes on and ambled outside

We have spent many years in their country
We’ve spent several billions of pounds
So this Elephant thought
We just might have bought
Something to stop folk digging in through the ground

It’s a prison they’re in there’s a clue there
Guns and walls and barbed wire between
But these Taliban
Are quite clearly big fans
Of the great King of Cool Steve McQueen