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The Big Chair

I had occasion to accompany my daughter to the local infirmary outpatients dept this morning.

This is the waiting room.

The chairs on the right of the picture are common or garden waiting room chairs.

I couldn’t help but notice that the blue chair on the left was somewhat bigger.

I speculated what this could be for.

Panto season is just coming up so maybe it was a prop for a production of Jack and the Beanstalk? But then this was an infirmary waiting room not backstage at the town hall.

Perhaps it was for childrens’ amusement? Two or three of them could imagine it was a…..er……big chair.

After jokingly speculating that it be used by Brian Blessed in a future Have I Got News For You? We then jokingly speculated that there might be an obesity clinic.

We asked one of the nurses.

The answer was “We have an increasing number of patients with obesity issues and we have to cater for them”

I mean really! Just how fat would your arse have to be to require that chair?

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The Irony Trades Federation

I was more than a little amused by the  quotes of Grahame Smith who is the General Secretary of the STUC, and has a ticket for Saturday’s Dundee United v Rangers game, as he spoke about the referees strike;

“I have a ticket for the game, but I will not be going if a strike-breaking foreign referee is in charge,” Smith told BBC Scotland.

“The SFA, like all employers, have adopted the approach of trying to trying to replace the employees who are out on strike instead of concentrating on getting administrative procedures in place, which would have addressed the issue.”

Mr Smith, by using terms like “strike breaking” “employers” and “employees” fails to understand the status of referees. Refs are actually stamp paying, account producing, claim expenses against tax, self-employed. Were they employees they would have had to have given seven days notice of their “strike” which isn’t actually a strike it is a withdrawal of service.

As such refs should surely be regarded as anathema to Mr Smith if not the spawn of the devil.

They are, quite clearly brothers and sisters, capitalists having a virtual monopoly in their field of business, using their unique position as a bargaining tool……and as such are….er tools of the establishment…. as usual……the ones to suffer are …..er the oppressed working class – the supporters who er……..might miss out on their pre- match hospitality….er..(etc. etc.)

One tends to think that everything has moved on and that union leaders probably hover around from meeting to meeting with a fruit salad of mobile devices (an apple/blackberry/orange).

However sometimes they revert to the 1970′s stereotype of the wee guy in a sports jacket with the glasses held together with sellotape and breast pocket full of cheap biros with chewed ends. The type of guy who was often guilty of malapropisms or attempted murder of the English language.

“There have been allegations made and I am determined to root out the alligators” one of them probably didn’t say as he emerged from his Vauxhall Viva.

Anyway this coal face capitalist is delighted that Mr Smith has jumped aboard in support of the deserving.

I’m on strike.

The dogs will have no more biscuits until they stop cocking their leg and urinating everywhere then grabbing hold of my leg and trying to f*ck me!

Much the same approach being taken by the refs to the SFA and Neil Lennon and John Reid.

And hang on! Grahame Smith has a ticket for the Rangers game!

Even the trade unions are in on the conspiracy!

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