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A Wee Hauf Vee

This great poem comes from my correspondent Danny Reynolds who obviously attended St Patrick’s High School in Dumbarton. He read my post about Hermitage Academy (about 8 miles down the road) and sent me a link to his work.

Absolutely brilliant Danny!!

Danny Reynolds
Dalton in Furness, England

First day at St Patrick’s High,
Decimalisation day nigh,
Sylvester and Tweety Pie,
Wur still funny.

Ha’penny Caramels disappeared,
The inside o yer scarf, pult doon roon yer ears.
Mr Cunningham’s belt, held no fears,
Bit it seemed ye goat less fur yir money.

School trips tae Girvan or Ayr,
The English teacher, unaware,
We’d hid Newkie Broons and Whisky somewhere,
Till we threw it a’ up oan the bus.

Some sad gits liked “Marmalade”,
Me an ma pals wur a’ intae “Slade”,
(A kin mind, when the first Live album was made,
it sure sounded heavy tae us!)

Skinny-Rib jumpers, Oxford Bags,
Levy Stai-press, Kensitas Fags,
Save up the coupons, Bazooka Joe gags,
Send away for the X-Ray specs.

The gangs on the school train, would try no tay mix,
Till they sent a 3 carriager, insteed o a six.
There wiz nuthin a good sharp compass widnae fix,
Tay get fae wan Station tae the next.

The “Spur”, the “Dinky”, the railway bridge pongs,
The “Haldane Hatchets”, the “Bowl o’ Meal” Tongs,
The Spam Valley Scout Troup, where no-one belongs,
But there’s one memory, that really is odd!

“Dad, don’t get yir petrol fay Texaco!”
I think it wiz the World Cup in Mexico.
When a think back noo, it makes me vex ye know,
Collecting coins, o the England squad!

When Monty Python wiz still a hoot.
John Peel, before the punks came oot.
For weddings a double-breasted suit,
No tay mention platform shoes.

Before the Jam, wi their “Eton Rifles”
There wiz the City Bakery’s fresh cream trifles,
The back o the chapel, where the laughter stifles.
It’s nay wonder, ah now love the Blues!

3 Responses

  1. oh yes st patrick’s high school.A wiz ready for the SAS by the time a had done my three year sentence.
    14 years of age when i walked or i should say ran out the gates of that place. But it sure was better back then.
    One day i will tell you all of my last day there.
    There is a good play for today in there somewhere.

  2. Jim, I’m still trying to get over your story about the crisp bag full of “liquid”! 8)

  3. I almost pished myself laughing at the crisp bag story. The first day for many of us was one of trying to blend into the brick walls so as not to stand out as “fresh meat” I expected to get thrown in the rose bushes or dunked in the, spotless toilets. That was probably the one time in my life that Martin came in handy (I have tried but can’t think of any other good uses for him). If the guy who threw it was Owen McGinley, I think I remember him as a tough wee basta wi a shaved heid. My mate Dave Woods and me were walking down towards the station when I heard running behind me. I stepped back to let them past and Dave didn’t. He received about four rapid to the head from the wee guy who did not miss a step on his way past. Aye it was a good Christian environment at that school!!!!!!

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