Scumbag Millionaire

Despicable greedy bastard.

Upholder of standards in public life

I  heard John Prescott having a good old rant about Fred Goodwin yesterday on Radio 4. Leaving aside for a moment the irony of JP accusing someone of being greedy, what kind of person is Goodwin?

No shame, no contrition and a big “Get it right up you” to the taxpayer who has picked up the tab for his incompetence and his near £700k annual pension. This is a man who has a personal fortune of some £30 million and does not care about his personal reputation enough to forgo further riches.

No big charitable donation.

No reduction or modification to his outrageous fortune.

This was the man who appeared in front of the Treasury Select Committee recently and said he was “sorry” for the financial mess he’d helped create.

Sorry my arse.

Nick Leeson brought Barings bank to its knees by gambling a few hundred million and losing it. Leeson was hunted down, tried and sent to prison.

“Sir” Fred Goodwin brought RBS to its knees by gambling billions and losing it.  Goodwin’s “punishment” has been retiral at 50 with a pension of £700k a year.

Pass the sick bag.

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Mystery Object Answer!

So I asked what this mystery object for pet dogs and, as it turns out, cats is?

There were a few good attempts at answers but alas none came close. Perhaps the news that the information on this product was first brought to me by Stu Who? would suggest that it would be unusual! I also gave a clue of how unusual by mentioning that this product is from America.

As you can see they come in all sizes to suit different sizes of dogs……………..

They are………..

Wait for it………

Neuticles.

Neuticles?

Yes Neuticles!

They are literally the dogs’ bollox!!

Testicular implants for neutered dogs!!!!

“Neuticles not only help’s the pet’s self-esteem but more importantly helps convince some owners to neuter.”

says one vet.

“Frodo never knew he lost anything and is just a happier little dog since he’s been neutered with Neuticles.”

Says an owner

“I’ve put off neutering “Crooked Joe” for months and when I found out about Neuticles and spoke to them it made me feel better about neutering. Joe not only looks the same now- but doesn’t know he’s missing anything.”

Says another owner

Stu says that he reckons to really build up a dogs self esteem that they should give some great dane neuticles to a chihuahua!

If you can watch without wincing, here is the process!

Ryanair Latest

Political Football

Taking a stroll the other evening, I passed a newspaper vendor where I observed the headline “Henry to oversee re-vamp of Scottish football”. My imagination stared to race.

A little while later whilst calling into the general store to buy some pickled herrings, I saw the Evening Times headline “McLeish returns to shake up the game”

I thought that perhaps the SFA had taken decisive action over the manager’s position.

It was only when I saw the TV news at my gentlemens’ club when I discovered the somewhat less exciting truth:

That’s right, former first minister Henry McLeish is to head a think tank to come up with suggestions to save the Scottish game. I’m sure his first task will be to see that the SFA, SPL and SFL don’t need three offices. With his experience and expertise of sub letting office space I’m sure there’ll be immediate savings for the blazeratti.

Also anyone pointing out that Mr McLeish once described the Celtic chairman as a “patronising bastard” or prominent Celtic fan Brian Wilson of “spending most of his time in Dublin and being a bloody liability” would surely do so out of churlish motives. As we know politicians are renowned for letting bygones be bygones.

Could this be the solution for Scottish football?

Good luck Henry. You’ll need it.

Groundhog Day

Last night’s gig (Tony McPhee’s Groundhogs at the Ferry, Glasgow) was good in parts. Stray, the support band led by Del Bromham can still very much cut it. They played new material and old and were as tight as a drunken Aberdonian. Some of Del’s antics with his guitar which included hanging it up and playing purely with the wah-wah pedal were pretty impressive.

Tony McPhee on the other hand has sadly lost his mojo. It was tragic, nay painful, to watch and listen to him and his band. Even his equipment was faulty.

Best leave it there.

Separated At Birth?

Tony McPhee

Ronnie Biggs

Mystery Object

So what is it?

This is an item which is available in the USA for your pet dog. Can I have your suggestions as to what it may be?

The correct answer will be posted tonight along with the incredible story of this innovative product.