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Big Brother

I have never watched a single episode of this freak show. Sometimes by accident I have seen about thirty seconds here and there. It’s enough. No it is more than enough. Just what the attraction is of this and other “reality” TV shows shall remain a mystery to me for ever. A friend thought I’d enjoy “The Apprentice” with Allan Sugar. I watched about three minutes of it and found myself only just controlling an urge to throw a heavy object through the telly. This may be down to the fact that barrow boy made good, Sugar is an intensely irritating man or , certainly in the episode I saw, that the contestants’ level of savvy and articulation was somewhere just above Bill and Ben. Celebrity chef, Come Dancing, Pop Idol, X Factor? they are all the same to me i.e anathema.

Anyway back to Big Brother. I actually knew one of the “housemates” from an early series. He was Sandy Cumming who had previously been manager of the leisure club where I was a member at the time.

Sandy actually had the good sense to climb over the wall and escape from the whole circus and get back to his job as a “personal shopper” (?). It was either that or sharing his living space with Jade Goody who proved that it is still possible to become a millionaire simply by being, whatever the opposite of talented,interesting, articulate, entertaining and witty is. We’ll no doubt be hearing in every branch of the media about the saddos, wackos and social inadequates who are vying for the prize over the next few weeks.

I’ll be avoiding it at all costs.