News from DPRK – A proper gander

Yes indeed with North Korea much in the news recently I thought I’d take a look at their own take on what happened with what the western lackey media called a “nuclear missile test”.

One is relieved to find that it wasn’t a missile at all but a satellite as the super, soaraway DPRK news site reports:

One imagines that appropriate disciplinary action will be administered to whoever is found to blame for this unfortunate episode. This will be something along the lines of castration with a blunt Stanley knife.

However it is good to hear that Kim Jong Un has been elected as first secretary of the Workers Party of Korea. That must have been a tough call for the electorate (aka Kim Jong Un). I’m sure we can look forward to some interesting exchanges with the leader of the opposition……….

And in a week which saw firework displays and other events celebrating the 100th anniversary of the birth of Kim Il Sung, it was good to see that the North Koreans hadn’t forgotten him or Kim Jong Il:

And although only a few lines could be found to explain away the missile satellite incident, several pages have been dedicated to floral baskets. They feature regularly and it would seem to answer the question “Just what do you buy an Asian dictator?”

 

Balmy!

Yes if ever you want to judge just how dodgy a political regime or culture is, then a good yardstick is to check if they have any former dead leaders embalmed on public display.

For instance here’s Kim Il Sung

Ho Chi Minh

And Ferdinand Marcos

Lenin

And the person who appointed Kim Il Sung

Last time I saw Maggie Thatcher I wondered if she’d been embalmed already. Think of the tourism!

Korea Minded

I was up early this morning, keen to see what The North Korean News Agency had to say about last night’s narrow defeat to Brazil.
Unfortunately, as you’ll see there is no mention of the game. However I did find the article below which proves the North Koreans have the same obsession with trivial events from the sixties (although they seem to have a kind of alternative calendar going on) as other perhaps more illustrious nations. For example did you know that “the last time North Korea were in the tournament was 1966 – I wonder if that could be an omen?” (Talk Sport yesterday)

Anyway here’s the news the North Koreans are waking up to this morning:

Story of Kim Il Sung

Pyongyang, June 15 (KCNA)

One day in August Juche 67 (1978) President Kim Il Sung provided field guidance to Pobu-ri, then Kaechon County, South Phyongan Province.
Going round a cornfield, he happened to see a cornstalk with withered leaves.

He stepped into the field and carefully checked the cornstalk. He then peeled the husk and looked at the ear to find what he had paid close attention to.

Back from his guidance tour, he summoned some senior officials of the agricultural sector. He told them to mobilize agricultural experts to find out the reason of the wilt, indicating scientific and technical issues arising in the campaign.

After several days, he met agricultural scientists to listen to their suggestions for preventing damage from blights. He said slaked lime and calcium fertilizer should be applied to cornfields to exterminate blights.

His instructions were based on his long-time observation of the wilt and systematic research for protecting crops from harmful insects.
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I’m also quite intrigued by the Official Website of the North Korean government, which under its business section says the following:

The DPR of Korea (North Korea) will become in the next years the most important hub for trading in North-East Asia.

Lowest labour cost in Asia.
Highly qualified, loyal and motivated personnel. Education, housing and health service is provided free to all citizens. As opposed to other Asian countries, workers will not abandon their positions for higher salaries once they are trained.
Lowest taxes scheme in Asia. Especially for high-tech factories. Typical tax exemption for the first two years.
No middle agents. All business made directly with the government, state-owned companies. No middle agents.
Stable. A government with solid security and very stable political system, without corruption.
Full diplomatic relations with most EU members and rest of countries.
New market. Many areas of business and exclusive distribution of products (sole-distribution).
Transparent legal work. Legal procedures, intellectual rights, patents and warranties for investors settled.

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Blimey! lowest labour cost in Asia is some boast. “Workers will not abandon their positions for higher salaries once they are trained” only seems to be missing the suffix “or they will be shot!”

Edited to add this great photo from Scott at Love and Garbage.