How Politics Works 2009

1) MPs bend, fiddle, pochle and exaggerate their expenses.

2) The more senior ones also fail to declare capital gains tax.

3) Through this behaviour, senior government cabinet members create a crisis for the governing party.

4) They then resign citing various reasons like “I’m going to spend more time with my porn collection” or “I’m going back to my (ginger) roots in political activism ” and “Fuck you Brown”

5) They then say the governing party has no chance of being re-elected and call on the leader to resign.

Pass the sick bag.

So Farewell Then

So farewell then Jacqui Smith

Britain’s first woman home secretary

“It was an error and I’m sorry”

That was your catchphrase

And also that of your husband

And sadly now too that of the Prime Minister

EZ Fiddler (Our movie correspondent)

Timney Latest

Well ok, sometimes we humble bloggers get it wrong as it would seem in this instance

It turns out that now Richard Timney husband of home secretary Jacqui Smith, has claimed that the controversial hire of the two porn movies was part of his work for the London Fertility Centre .

It seems that Timney has been regularly depositing in the organisation’s sperm bank for several months. LFC spokeswoman Avril Foley said that whilst normal policy would exclude them from identifying donors she was happy to corroborate Mr Timney’s version of events. “Mr Timney is one of the nicest people you could meet and we are delighted he came across us” said Ms. Foley.

Happy to set the record straight.

Lay Off Jacqui!

Can we criticise her husband’s viewing of a couple of porn movies at the taxpayers’ expense?

The poor man must be under terrible pressure being not only a  full time paid assistant but also a husband to a woman who could be at her, ahem, second residence so much of the time.

And of course anyone seeking to make sniggering schoolboy jokes about Richard Timney and his habits are completely beneath all contempt.