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  • Top Rated

Scottish Marriage Proposal

For some reason, this won’t display.

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The UKIP Shipping Forecast

I saw one of these Facebook status things the other day which read something like “Surrealism used to be art. Now it’s everyday life”

Quite.

I thought of it when I saw this headline:

indyukip

When I saw it, I hadn’t long finished reading this article about UKIP councillor David Silvester who claimed that the Gay Marriage legislation had made the Good Lord so dischuffed, that he had unleashed the recent floods and storms on the UK in an act of vengeance.

barmyukip

Apparently, “The scriptures make it abundantly clear that a Christian nation that abandons its faith and acts contrary to the Gospel (and in naked breach of a coronation oath) will be beset by natural disasters.”

Several satirists have taken up the theme. A spoof Twitter account gives the UKIP weather forecast:

ukipweather

Nicholas Pegg then put out this shipping forecast on Radio 4. The usual advice about finishing any food or hot drinks before listening applies here.

 

 

Blunt Answers

James Blunt, it would be fair to say, is not everyone’s cup of tea. I’m not his biggest fan myself but you know what? I can think of plenty of artists/bands more worthy of scorn and dismissal.

Blunt’s problem was that a bandwagon of dislike started rolling when he had his number one hit “You’re Beautiful”. The falsetto voice and rather twee subject matter of the song got some danders up and he became an easy target.

It seems that Blunt, a former captain in the British Army, has taken on and is relishing his role as hate figure on social media.

He reveals himself as good humoured and quick witted in response to some of the insults he has to endure on Twitter.

For example in response to the barbed comment “James Blunt just has an annoying face and a highly irritating voice” Blunt replies “And no mortgage”. Here are some more.

blunt views

He’s turned the whole thing to his advantage by his own anti-marketing campaign with products such as:

bluntee

blunt

The Poke has compiled a selection of Blunt’s best 2013 put downs in an article entitled 30 reasons why James Blunt won at Twitter in 2013. It gave me my best laugh of the New Year so far.

Kim Jong Un v Christmas

Top Toon

By McMullen from Sunday’s Sunday Mail.

godmandela

100 Years Ago

Well not quite 100 years ago, but an old blog posting of mine from 2007

It seems obvious that a clever speech-writer told George Dubya to say something like “People say where is the equivalent of Mandela for Iraq? Where is the peace-maker who can unite everyone? Well, he doesn’t exist because Saddam killed all those of that calibre. He killed all the ‘Mandelas’.“.

Instead, George was probably as surprised as the rest of us to discover that Nelson was dead, and not only that but Saddam had killed him.

Here is the post:

NELSON Mandela yesterday assured the world that, contrary to the impression given by the President of the US, reports of his demise were greatly exaggerated.

Even for blunder-prone George Bush, it was a gaffe of toe-curling proportions.

Defending his stand on the war, Mr Bush said Saddam Hussein’s brutality made it impossible for a unifying leader to emerge to halt civil warfare that has torn Iraq apart.

“I heard somebody say, ‘Where’s Mandela?’,” Mr Bush said. “Well, Mandela’s dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas.”

The South African authorities were besieged with calls after Mr Bush’s speech, which was carried live on TV. Many viewers feared the country’s first black president and Nobel Peace Prize winner had died.

Just in case you can’t believe that the most powerful man in the world can spout such pish…..

Nigella’s Kitchen

nigella

Another Gem.

From Kevin Bridges:

Nigella Lawson off her tits snorting coke?

I don’t give a f*ck.

Nigella Lawson snorting coke off her tits!

You have my attention!

Dressed for the occassion……..

tumblr_muf9u6CAUn1qlhmdvo1_500

From Garp

Economy of thought

consumption

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