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    "Great read every day. Makes me smile as Rab muses about music and his irreverent views on the EU. Tune in, you won't be disappointed."

    "Excellent 'Blog' which can be controversial at times, while maintaining it's humour. Keep it up Big Rab!"

    "Updated every day with doses of good humour, political satire, a running commentary on the progress of author's home football team and his life."

    "Pure brilliant, so it is - I never miss it, though God knows, I've tried."

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    "Anyone who doesn't like the EU and has a soft spot for Albion Rovers can't be all bad"

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    "People may also find the Ben Lomond Free Press blog illuminating, interesting and/or amusing. It’s not mentalist as such but familiar themes emerge. I particularly like accounts of encounters with strange elementals (of course! ELEmentals!) from elfin safety. And the fact that the blog is run by someone who plays in a blues band called Harmonica Lewinsky."

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  • Top Rated

How many?

Surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A fish……

How many anarchists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb should be smashed.

How many blues fans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They all prefer the original light bulb.

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3 Responses

  1. How many wimmin with p.m.t. does it take to change a lightbulb? JUST WAN, AWRIGHT?

    How many Big Rabs does it take to change a lightbulb? Ach, it’s not that dark…

  2. How many psycho-analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Well, it’s not that simple. First, the lightbulb has to WANT to change.

  3. How many poets does it take to put out a candle?

    You’re not like a gas flame
    or I would see a point of nothingness
    at your base
    That invisible rush of expectancy

    No, your whole body devours.
    The crucified wick stands to attention
    looks down in awe at your handiwork

    Impurities which in the wax
    gave lack of depth in solid shape
    Now molten, clear, transparently sheer.
    encroach the rim, on route to where?

    To abseil down the virgin shaft
    First to spoil the un-rippled column.
    Or race behind another’s track
    leap-frogging as your molecules mourn to stillness

    Or drop and set upon a child’s hand
    They watch how quickly you change
    from lava flow
    to bathing caps for their fingertips.

    Light and warmth and dancing flame
    Dreamer’s magnet, pulling in
    the trawler’s nets full of visions

    I snuff you to sleep
    and walk away.
    as you wave goodnight
    with your ribbons of smoke.

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