That Dave and Sam Menu in Full

Financial Mussels
Soups from various stocks (and shares)
Payday Pate

Steak and Ailing Finances Pie (eaten with fingers)
Calling the Tuna
In the Black Pudding
Pork a la Snouts in Trough
Humble Pie

(All served with blue chips and green stuff)

Profiteeroles
Raspberry Payvlova
Trifle Embarrassing

Coffee and Royal Mints

Mist Again

It was a misty morning on Loch Lomond yesterday.

Visibility was down to about 10 metres at some points and we could hear the Luss rescue boat blasting away looking for some lost boaters.

Richie contemplates in the mist.

These two kayaks passed as we had breakfast on the shore at Inchmoan

Time for a tune as the mist lifts.

Brian the poet was on his first voyage but his body wasn’t up to the rigours and confines of the canoe and he developed cramp and a sore back.

AnElephantCant paddle!

Richie and I ended up in one canoe towing him back in the other.By this time the mist had lifted so we could check periodically that we hadn’t lost the makeshift water ambulance or our patient!

Through my canoe postings on the blog, I was contacted by a reader from England who is coming up for an Easter break and wants to see the wallabies at Inchconnachan. I have arranged to show him and his partner around on a morning voyage next week.

I see this not as an imposition but rather a reward. I love to spread the word about this unique and diverse waterway and the cheap compact and versatile qualities of the inflatable canoe.

The Old Firm

Result just in…..

Morally and financially bankrupt, referee assisted Rangers 3, Graceless, grudging cheated Celtic 2

I heard a caller to one of the interminable phone in shows on Radio Scotland say that the other clubs in the SPL, including Celtic had been subsidised by Rangers over the years. It left me feeling so sorry for them. Imagine that their kindness to others has landed them in such a financial predicament.

And for the second week running we have Neil Lennon explaining how the referee and not any inadequacies cost Celtic the game.

King Billy has been replaced by King Pyrrhus, whilst Celtic enjoy their after match meal at the Ubiquitous Chip on the Shoulder.

The other SPL clubs seem to be waking up to the fact that maybe they should have a bit more say in what goes on in the game here.

More power to them.

Cash for Cameron

2010 – David Cameron promises curbs on Britain’s lobbying industry if he came to power, saying that lobbying was the “next big political scandal waiting to happen.”

2012 – Senior party member Peter Cruddas offers undercover journalists posing as lobbyists, access to David Cameron for £250,000 and resigns.

In the footage, Cruddas is seen discussing different sized donations and saying that £200,000 to £250,000 is “premier league”, granting access to Cameron and his Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne.

“When we talk about your donations the first thing we want to do is get you out to Cameron and Osborne dinners,” he says in the recording.

“You do really pick up a lot of information. And when you see the prime minister, you’re seeing David Cameron you’re not seeing the prime minister….

“But within that room everything’s confidential and you will be able to ask him practically any questions that you want.”

Presumably the money would have gone to party funds.

Mr Cruddas has resigned as party treasurer.

In resigning, Mr Cruddas said: “I deeply regret any impression of impropriety arising from my bluster in that conversation. It was categorically not the case that I could offer, or that David Cameron would consider, any access as a result of a donation.”

“Impression of impropriety”

That’s the best one since “Economical with the truth”.

Bud(get) Wiser

Sympathy for the Devil

AnElephantCant quite grasp the problem
That is vexing the Westminster louses
Should they tax the rich?
And if so then which
Those who make loads or the ones with big houses?

AnElephant doesn’t live in a £2 million mansion
Please forgive our sad lack of conceit
We are not being funny
But with that sort of money
You could jolly well buy our whole street

We don’t earn £150 thousand per annum
We would be up to our big ears in peanuts
If we did we’d be nice
And give up a slice
At that level we would not even see cuts

In London the story is different
Old Boris calls £250,000 chickenfeed
For a weekly column
We find this appalling
A cash-obsessed addict in need

The Government says they cannot tax the wealthy
On their income because they avoid it
We think they mean evade
We are being betrayed
If they have a conscience it is time they employed it

This Elephant is a quite simple beastie
We do not ever pretend to be clever
But we do get irate
When Cabinet millionaires state
OK chaps we are all in this together

Here is something we did suggest last year*
When Wee Dave thought Big Phil the bee’s knees
So George here’s our thought
Why not tax the whole lot
On the cash their wives ship overseas?

If our leaders won’t take cash from their rich chums
(At least not in the way of taxation)
We will ask a hard question
And make a suggestion
That may cause Dave and Nick some vexation

We detest all these bankers and traders
Their greed could cause the next revolution
We don’t want to nobble ‘em
But they are the problem
We believe they should be the solution

These folk make obscene wealth in this country
Then ship it to where their wives stay
They like a good laugh
They say don’t be daft
Tax is what little people pay

So this Elephant suggests independence
For the City of London’s rich gents
We are not being funny
Let them keep their money
And we charge a gazillion pounds rent

Today in history

It was today in 1603 that the “Kingdom of Great Britain” came into being as King James VI of Scotland became James 1st of England.

The “United Kingdom” did not actually arrive until the Acts of Union of 1800 which came into effect on January 1st 1801 bringing Ireland into the Union.

However, March 24th is also the anniversary of another earlier, perhaps better known act of union, and that is the 1707 act of union of the Scottish and English parliaments in 1707

There had been an earlier short lived (republican) union when Oliver Cromwell declared himself Lord Protector of the Commonwealth – England Scotland and Ireland. Union was enacted in 1657 and thirty representatives each from Ireland and Scotland sat at Westminster.

However that union was dissolved immediately on the restoration of the monarchy.

The union of the parliaments in 1707 remained in full force until 1999 when the Scottish Parliament was reconvened.

And fast forward to 2012, yesterday the monarchy and United Kingdom were still in the news. The Tories have launched a movement called “Friends of the Union” to try to counteract the Yes campaign at the forthcoming independence referendum.

David Cameron also announced his support for renaming Big Ben Tower, Elizabeth Tower in honour of the monarch’s diamond jubilee. (No it isn’t April 1st just yet)

So it seems that the three major unionist parties are going to each have separate, disparate No campaigns.

That could work out well……..

More on red meat

I wrote here on Sunday about red meat. Red meat and processed meat shortens your life, can increase chances of cancer and is high in fat.

It is, in short bad, bad, bad.

In fact there was another article about it on t’internet this morning:

View from Canoe

As we have battled pretty crepe weather here in West Central Scotland in recent weeks, and as my back has been giving me grief, opportunities for canoeing have been few and far between.

This morning though, having secured a day’s respite from despicable commerce and trade, I took to the water. I was paddling by 7:00 when most BLFP readers were presumably still tucked up.

It was cold.

It was pretty grey.

It was wonderful.

Peace, perfect peace.

I paddled round the island of Inchconnachan.

I got these photos:

The lonesome pine at Inchconnachan

Buccinch and Conic Hill in black and white. There is virtually no difference from the colour shot!

Battered by years of weather and waves. Not me! These rocks where I stopped for a cuppa!

Comment on the loch about my internet connection!

We were going to have a wake but.....

The death theme continues....Who was Netta I wonder?

Thought Provoking.

thank you

And also

Another photo of Greenock etc. taken yesterday at the Ben Bouie ridge: