Let’s start a rumour……

As an avid reader of the balanced reporting of theNorth Korean News Agency it seems that the beloved leader has uncharacteristically been keeping a very low profile.

I’m not speaking about David Cameron.

Of course I have been premature before in
speculating on Kim’s demise and it could be that he’s away looking at things. Today though the one story which included him directly and describes him as meeting a Nepalese communist party delegation has now changed to describe Kim Ki Nam meeting them.

I pose the question: Is Kim Jong Il an ex-leader?

Bar-barous

On the news that a Turkish barbers is to open in Helensburgh:

Turkish Barbers

AnElephantCant pretend that we are au fait
With the practices of old Istanbul
Now you may be right
We are not too bright
But please don’t think we are anyone’s fool

In our home town of Helton-upon-Sea
There is a new barber shop in the offing
We hope that this Turk
Doesn’t smoke when he works
So his hand will not shake with the coughing

We hear Turkish barbers clean by burning
All the hairs in your facial orifices
We are not afraid
But it has to be said
The idea brings large lumps to our oesophaguses

You know AnElephant has rather large flappers
Like wee Noddy’s old buddy Big Ears
The thought of some mug
With a match near our lug
Somehow darkens our darkest dark fears

And if he comes near our proboscis
We would surely be in a blue funk
We’re not scared to lose
Maybe one or two toes
But we’re sunk if we damage our trunk

So we will take double care with our good bits
And if this new barber decides
That we look a mess
We will say oh yes
Please give us a short back and sides

One for the laydeez!

From the BBC via Claret and Amber:

A 76-year-old Labour MP has said he and his parliamentary colleagues have an inescapable “sexual magnetism”.

Paul Flynn told the BBC it was a “complete mystery” how even the “ugly, foolish and frail” became more attractive after being elected.

This led to “dangerous” situations where marriages were often put at risk.

Mr Flynn has updated his book, How to be a Backbencher, with advice for younger recruits on how to cope with life at Westminster.

The chapter, “How to defuse sexual magnetism”, quoted in the Daily Telegraph, offers some tongue-in-cheek suggestions, including taking regular cold baths and going to bed early with a glass of milk.

“If you know people who are turned on by politics they are more likely to be attracted by people who are adept at the political game, in the same way that people who are musicians or racing drivers would be attracted by high skill in that area.”

I’m sure that by this time, female readers will be curious to witness the phenomenon of MPs’ sexual magnetism for themselves, but may require a cold bath after viewing this photo of Mr Flynn:

Steady now ladies!