A few bon mots (and a photo) from the Facebook Group ‘Overheard in Glasgow’
Victoria Park recently. Man walking Pug pup is asked “Haw mate, is that a dug?”, he replies “Of course it is, what did you think it was, an elephant?”.
“Naw mate, ah meant is it a dug or a bitch?”.
In the chemist waiting for prescription. In walks Methadone client. Chemist- “Are you here for your methadone?” Client -”Aye an’ mines the sugar free wan!”

Glasgow divorce lawyer to his female client: “Do you have any contact with your former partner?’
Client: “Aye, he sometimes pokes me”
Divorce lawyer: “So you are back together again?”
1st Ned – Why is that guy nicknamed `slasher`…is he a chib man or something?
2nd Ned – Naw he’s incontinent!
In Primark, a young girl on the phone to her mum, ‘They’ve only Goat a extra large, but the lassie says it wull stretch!
In McDonalds, Trongate. New-start reading the training manual says to another girl “How come Fanta isnae suitable for vegetarians? Is it cos it’s got oranges in it?”
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