Gas Guzzler

I have bought CARS for less than this!

Steely

Learn to work the saxophone, I’ll play just what I feel. Drink Scotch whisky all night long, and die behind the wheel.

Rejoice!

(With apologies to AnElephantCant)

I sat listening to the radio last morn
My reaction was pure disbelief
For interview on the London train
They’d picked four young women from Crieff.

At first they seemed like a fun bunch
Young lassies enjoying the journey
It was only when I heard the stuff they were saying,
I thought that they just maybe wurnae.

“Everybody’s excited!” they shrilled
“The whole country’s just going nuts!
A right jolly day of waving the flag
Will take everyone’s minds off the cuts”

“Describe your hat for me will you?”
And the lassie right then admitted
That the straw boater had Wullie and Kate on the brim
And not only that they were knitted!

It was then that I started to wonder
If Crieff was the home of the fool
Here was a young lass of 20 or so
Wearing Royalty made out of wool!

Her companions seemed equally ‘loosely wrapped’
They were having the time of their lives
But was this just poor consolation
For themselves not becoming Royal wives?

I’m avoiding the whole of the media today
I’m staying away from the grief
But I’ll spare a thought in my isolation
For these curious young women from Crieff.

The Great Escape

The Great Escape

AnElephantCant believe what has happened
It is greater than The Great Escape
500 walk out
It appears without doubt
There’s a break in the Afghan red tape

Now the prisoners did nothing outrageous
They just waited for help to arrive
Their chums tunnelled through
Said how do you do
Put their shoes on and ambled outside

We have spent many years in their country
We’ve spent several billions of pounds
So this Elephant thought
We just might have bought
Something to stop folk digging in through the ground

It’s a prison they’re in there’s a clue there
Guns and walls and barbed wire between
But these Taliban
Are quite clearly big fans
Of the great King of Cool Steve McQueen