Posted on February 22, 2010 by bigrab
From the hilarious Facebook Group of that name.
“I was standing outside a line of shops in Thornliebank early in the morning during a snow storm. In the distance l could see a wee guy struggling through the snow heading towards me. As he passed me he said “its taken me hauf an hoor tae walk five fuckin minutes”
“A Scotrail inspector who had been asked to inspect the conditions in the gentlemans restroom: “Thae toilets are a pure disgrace, its like a shithoose in there!”
“My mother was on a bus going through Cambuslang, the bus was full, standing room only. A midget gets on and a white tracky wearing ned in front of my mum offers the midget his seat. The midget takes great offense to this and starts calling the ned all the names under the sun, shouting about how he isn’t disabled etc, e…tc. The ned says nothing. A few stop later the midget makes his way to the door to get off when the ned shouts to him “Here Big Man, Ah hope when you get up the road Snow White boots your Bawz!!!”
“Wifie being served in the bank in springburn just today, chatting away with the teller about her family and how her aunts were twins. “are they identical?” asks the teller, “Ah’m no sure” she answered”
“See you, gauny take yer face fur a Happy Meal?”
“About 5 mins ago in RBS Aye eh… mind a put £20 in tae close ma account and a wrote that hing oan that hing…have you still goat the hing cos I’ll need it back noo know whit a mean? I think I speak for everyone when I reply eh…naw.”
At Hampden, Hearts supporter to Female Mounted police, “that horse looks f*cked!” Weegie coppers reply ” If you had been between my legs for 5 hours, you would looked f*cked ‘n aw!”
“Whit did ye dae fur the wife fur Valentine’s then Tam?”
“Ah dried the dishes”.
Two greetin’ faced characters in The Horseshoe Bar.
Filed under: Humour | Tagged: overheard in glasgow | Leave a Comment »